Be Forever Yorozuya Gin-chan
by Stinky Horse
Summary: Set in 'Be Forever Yorozuya'. Weird circumstances sends Gintoki into a world he doesn't recognize, with people that have changed dramatically from what he knows of them... so he's gotta solve some problems and fix things. I guess you can consider this an AU Timeline fic.
1. Prologue

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

Dry winds blew through the Kabuki district, a place that was once crowded was now empty and lonely. There was no sound, other than the gentle whistling of the wind, and there was no movement other than the quiet rustles of rats and mice that continued to scavenge the dumps and alleyways for food. The beautiful red-orange color of sunset only served to give the area a sad and longing feel, bringing nostalgic memories back of when it used to be bustling and full of people.

"It was like yesterday," Shinpachi mused solemnly, as he leaned on the sun bathed yorozuya porch above the Otose snack bar, "Now our town's become like this.. isn't that right, Kagura?"

The now-grown-up teenager who brandished a wooden sword named 'Lake Toya' glanced behind him, to find the yato girl with blue wavy patterns on the edge of her cheongsam, standing a small distance behind him, near the sliding doors that led to the porch.

"Shut up, four eyes," Kagura muttered, and walked towards him, "You really are a _nostalgic idiot_ huh? To think that you'd finally come back to this place after so long."

"Shut up," Shinpachi replied, absolutely expressionless as he nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "After all, you're here too aren't you, you _nostalgic idiot_."

"What was that?!" the yato girl exclaimed, and turned to face Shinpachi with a look of fury, "Don't call me a nostalgic idiot, you _nostalgic idiot_!"

"You're the one who started it, you _nostalgic idiot_!"

"HOW DARE YOU-"

The two stared at each other for a moment, and turned away, unable to handle their current emotions. Kagura walked away from the porch, and slid her fingers along a desk that used to be always occupied by JUMP magazines and strawberry milk cartons... but was now only covered in a thick layer of dust. Times had changed since then, and so had the two yorozuya's. It hurt to be how they used to be, it hurt to remember how it used to be, and it hurt to come back to the place they used to think of as a home, because of a certain leader that had disappeared one day and never returned.

They stood in silence, as Kagura looked at her finger which was how coated in a thin layer of dust, and Shinpachi looked into the sunset sky, realizing how long it had been since they had last been here.

Soon it became too much.

Shinpachi wordlessly turned towards the door, and made his way past Kagura without making eye contact. Kagura stood silently, with a expression that was hard to read. Before he left the building, he paused in front of the door and didn't turn around, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't get it out. Kagura looked at the red sky illuminating the small room, and she too seemed to want to say something. In the end, it proved futile because the words seemed to be jammed in their throats.

"...see you later," they both said at the same time, which surprised one and another. They paused before both going their own way, never looking back.

Things were different now, now that they didn't have their leader to guide them anymore.


	2. Why Soy Sauce of All Things?

**Chapter 2: Why Soy Sauce of All Things?**

Gintoki would give anything for some quiet... anything.

Morning had come way too soon, and his two amigos wouldn't stop making noise; one yapping loudly while eating his portion of breakfast, lunch and dinner, the other loudly singing (more like screeching) to his idol, Otsu-chan, pumping the volume on full. He had a rough drinking night the day before with his MADAO buddy, and only managed to go to bed around four in the morning. Adding it up, he only received around three to four hours of sleep, and he wasn't very appreciative of the killing headache he received from his hangover.

The samurai curled up and prepared himself for what he would dub as a daring stunt, considering his current condition. "OI! QUIET DOWN!" Gintoki snapped, and instantly winced afterwards. Even yelling was this painful... regret overcame the silver-haired permhead, and Gintoki decided that he would never drink again for the nth time that month. He blamed Hasegawa for earning that coupon-for-two (free drinks for free) during pachinko, and he blamed it all on the poor man's stupid luck that seemed to come out when it mattered the least.

Of course, he request was completely ignored by the duo, who kept noisily doing their business. Gintoki sighed, and determined that it was impossible to earn the peace and quiet that he so desperately needed with them around. He pushed himself up from his futon and waited for the world to stop mocking him, before steadily standing up, feeling nauseous and ready to hurl. He sped to the bathroom and emptied his stomach of contents, completely ignored by Kagura and Shinpachi who were completely in their own world.

"Stupid brats," he grumbled weakly as he rinsed his mouth of the taste, "It's always food or Otsu-chan, Otsu or food-chan, are they broken records or something? Am I not enough or something? It's not me, it's totally them, and if they're going to be this way, then fine, be that way! I'll find someone else, and they'll rue the day when they let go of precious Gin-chan!"

When he left the bathroom, he found his refrigerator's contents to be completely gone, and he didn't need to ask to know where they went. Into the endless abyss that is sometimes called a black hole... more accurately named, Kagura's stomach.

"Oi oi, breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Gintoki mumbled, scolding himself for his decision to skip breakfast, "Whatever, grown men can make their own decisions... OI KAGURA-CHAN, SHINPACHI-KUN! I'm leaving!"

They didn't even spare a glance as Gintoki wore on his boots and left, too busily engrossed in their activities. He winced when the sun's rays hit his face, the morning sun way too harsh on his sensitive eyes. Hangovers weren't very fun, but they were the price to pay when drinking heavily. Gintoki wandered around the rather empty Kabuki district that was rather empty in the morning, especially since it was a Saturday. The people needed their beauty sleep after all, which Gintoki could totally understand.

"Oh! If it isn't Gin-boy!" he heard a familiar voice call, and turned to find old man Gengai waving towards him from his old shack/garage full of mechanical items, "Come here!" Gintoki didn't even notice that he had wandered so far, so soon. Or was it because he had fallen asleep while he sauntered around?

"What is it, old man?" Gintoki muttered, his headache not ceasing it's attack, "You got a heart attack or something? Oi, men of older age should stay quiet and peaceful while they play croquet and bang bang with old ladies."

"Shaddup, and get over here," the old man said, blatantly ignoring the other's words, "You're gonna help me out with my invention."

"Like hell I am," Gintoki replied, as the old man wordlessly led him deeper into his shack, which had tools and machine parts scattered all around. He refused to help the old man tinker with machinery until his hangover subsided, which it seemed to refuse to do.

"Yes you are, Gin my boy."

"No I'm not, old man."

"Speaking of which, do you have the money from the last time I fixed your bike?"

"..." Gintoki remained silent at that.

"Over here," Gengai chided, prodding Gintoki along as he stumbled into the darker room. Gintoki squinted to see better in the dark, but it turns out that it wasn't needed since the old man flicked on the lights. He was in what seemed to be a storage room full of objects that were covered in white blankets to keep away dust. Probably more machinery. "Help me wheel this out," Gengai pointed to a huge, heavy-looking structure that was hidden by it's white cover, set on top of a trolley, "My back's not so good anymore and you'd benefit from burning some calories, Sugarkata Parfaitoki-kun."

"Shaddup!" Gintoki snapped, and strained to inch the object forwards, one centimeter at a time, "What's in this thing?" he groaned, voice unsteady as he exerted most of his strength into pushing, "Oi, this is totally Kagura-chan's type of job, oi!"

"She wasn't with you, so you have to do it Gin-boy," the old man chuckled, and headed off to where he came from, "meet me there!"

Rolling the thing was like rolling a huge boulder uphill, only to have it roll back down again. Was he becoming Sisyphus? By the time he finished, he would have thunder thighs! Gintoki completely did not want to do this job, but for the sake of everyone and mainly his position as a main character in JUMP (friendship, perseverance and victory or whatever) he felt compelled to finish the task. Dammit, why couldn't he just find somewhere comfy and quiet, and sleep away his worries?

By the time he reached the old man (after Gengai's many inspirational shouts of encouragement that echoed down the hall, much to his annoyance), he made it and collapsed onto his butt in relief, out of breath and out of strength. Never again would he do strenuous work. Never again.

"Do you know what this is?" Gengai said proudly, as he patted the structure. It was all too obvious that he wanted Gintoki to ask him of the importance of his invention, so that he could show off.

"Don't know, don't care-"

"Well, Gin-boy, if you insist, I'll tell you!"

"OOI! Don't ignore me!"

"This is..." He trailed off for effect, before throwing the cover off, "A SOY SAUCE MACHINE!"

"What the hell?!" It looked like a vending machine, but it only had one button that had the thick words, 'SOY SUACE' scribbled on it. The color scheme was completely brown, and there was even a poop-shaped curly thing at the top that seemed to mock his perm, "WHAT IS THIS?!"

"I already told you Gin-boy, it's a soy sauce machine," the old man stated ever so triumphantly, as he clicked the button and watched in satisfaction as a bucket of soy sauce was dispensed from the nozzle and stained the floor dark brown, "Your ears have become as bad as mine, hehe."

"DON'T HEHE ME YOU DAMN OLD MAN!" Gintoki exclaimed, pointing at the machine like it was a terrorist, "Who would want to use this?! What's the point of this?! Why does it have to be so big?! That's what she said!"

"Oh, but not so fast," Gengai spoke, shaking his finger like he was a teacher speaking to a kindergartner, "There's also a minor bonus feature."

"What? Is it another soy sauce producer?" Gintoki sighed, exasperated.

"No, it's a time machine."

"Ah."

"..."

"..."

"OOOIIIII YOU CALL THAT A _MINOR_ FEATURE?!"

"It was inspired by you, when you tried to find a time machine in a vending machine, so I have to thank you Gin-boy!" Gengai spoke appreciatively, and patted the samurai on the back.

"YOU BUILT A FREAKING TIME MACHINE! SERIOUSLY?! IT PROBABLY DOESN'T WORK RIGHT?! IT PROBABLY IS A FAKE OR SOMETHING, RIGHT?! YOU'RE JUST KIDDING, RIGHT?! RIIGHT?!" Gintoki said, unable to accept the fact that a soy sauce machine could travel in time like a TARDIS. This was Gintama, not Doctor Who... seriously.

"Not at all Gin-boy, all you have to do is dive into the soy sauce machine's dispenser."

"OH?! That's like Doraemon's drawer, pretty smart of you, old man Gengai," Gintoki nodded in approval, "It probably is fake anyways, seriously, did you want to make soy sauce that much? You really are soy sauce deprived, old man, you should just go live in the soy sauce ocean or something, like the little soy sauce mermaid. It's definitely a fake."

"No, it's real."

"No, it's fake."

"No, it's real."

"No it's-"

"WHY DON'T YOU FIND OUT YOURSELF EH?!" Gengai yelled in irritation, losing his temper as he kicked the samurai into the small 4D dispenser. The dispenser suddenly glowed upon receiving Gintoki and nearly blinded the old mechanic. When sight was restored, he found the dispenser to be empty, and the machine to be dispensing boiling hot soy sauce from the heat it had produced.

The samurai was gone, and the soy sauce was ruined. The mechanic blinked, and sheepishly scratched his head.

"Oopsies."


	3. Welcome to the world, Gin-chan

**Chapter 3: Welcome to the world, Gin-chan**

Gintoki would give anything for some quiet... anything.

Huh? Was this deja vu he was feeling?

He had a agonizing headache, and he felt the need to just go back to sleep and ignore the fact he wherever he was, it wasn't a very comfortable place. His futon felt strangely rocky and scratchy, and it was almost as if he was sleeping on gravel, and it was also very bright. Deciding he was probably just dreaming, he willed himself back to sleep but the strange place wouldn't stop bother him in his head.

Gintoki peeled his eyes opened and squinted, the sun's bright rays blinding him for a moment. When he regained focus, he was in the middle of... a graveyard?

"Eh?"

He scrabbled to his feet and looked around frantically, and to his shock, he didn't recognize where he was at all. Wasn't he just at that old man Gengai's house a few moments ago?

"What's this..."

Loud cicadas calls filled the place with sound, and a few crows flapped pass, seeming to be enjoying the solitude. It was midday, and the grass and trees were greener than ever, as it provided shade for the tombstones. He tried to stand up, but his legs were as wobbly as a freshly born gorilla's. Reaching forwards for some support, his hands hit a gravestone. Slowly, he regained balance and noticed the name that was neatly scrawled onto the warm stone that was set for the dead.

_Sakata Gintoki_

Gintoki blinked, and tried to clear his eyes of all the eye snot and dust that must've been screwing with his vision.

_Sakata Gintoki_

No way, there was absolutely no way. Gintoki felt pretty alive, and he wasn't going to let his brain delude him. Oh no, this was probably just a typo by the author or something, it couldn't possible be him who was dead.

_Sakata Gintoki_

...

_'EeeeeeaaayyayhghghhgkdaljflksdjlwkenlkrnQWEWJKQHKJSDHFIYAAAAH-?!' _Gintoki thought, _'NO NO NO NO NO, WHAT IS THIS?! THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ALLOWED! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER DAMMIT! THIS CAN'T BE! THERE'S NOOOO WAY! I WILL SUE-'_

"O-Okay calm down Gin-chan," Gintoki spoke to himself, getting shivers and cold sweat, "This is probably not real you know, Gin-chan? Haha, because you CAN'T FEEL PAIN IN DREAMS!" He smashed his head on the gravestone bearing his name, but to no avail did he wake up from the strange world he found himself in, only ending up receiving an angry red mark on his pale forehead.

"O-Okay, so maybe you can feel pain in a dream, Gin-chan," Gintoki laughed hysterically, tearing up from the pain he inflicted on himself, as blood dripped down his face, "But, this is deeeeeefinitely not real, Gin-chan! You know Gin-chan?! Why don't you calm down and eat something, because even food doesn't feel realistic in a dream~!"

Gintoki grabbed the nearest dango offerings to him, and chewed on them like he had a grudge against all worldly sweets. "I don't know Gin-san... Th-this feels pretty real. Don't be ridiculous Gin-chan! I'm not being ridiculous Gin-san! Why am I talking to myself?!" He threw the empty dango sticks onto the offering plate in a fit, "DAMMIT! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME, THE MAIN CHARACTER GIN-CHAN?! I don't deserve this! I'M COMING TO KILL YOU AUTHOR-KUN!"

He turned around grumpily and started stomping towards the city... wait, what city? He stared at his surroundings, only to find trees and more trees blocking his view. Supposedly, the terminal spaceport should be easily seen from wherever you are in Edo... Which way was the city? Of course, he didn't even know where he was, how was he going to get to the city? The city? Was it there or here? Where was he? What? Just then, there were footsteps to he heard, and he jolted. What? Was there someone approaching? In a panic, he dived behind the nearest gravestone and held his breath, hoping the shade would make him disappear.

The soft footsteps approached and seemed to get nearer and nearer, which made Gintoki cringe. Just go away already, he didn't want to deal with anymore nuisances or people! To his dismay, the person seemed to stop right in front of the gravestone he was hiding behind, the one he stole dango from.

"His offering is gone," a old familiar voice remarked, and it shocked Gintoki still. He cautiously peeked around the gravestone, and found who he thought it was, old lady Otose, "Gintoki, it seems that there are still fools in this world who are as disrespectful as you were."

_'G-Granny?' _She had noticeably aged a few. He spotted new wrinkles and a few streaks of white hair, her eyes looked so much more tired than the usual vibrancy he spotted in them when she told him to pay the rent. Gintoki squished himself tightly and tried to hide his presence, while keeping a steady eye on her.

"You stole and ate an offering for my husband once, didn't you?" she continued, a small reminiscent smile on her face as she crouched there and removed the two empty dango sticks from the plate, "And now the same thing happens to you." Otose put her hands together, "I guess you really do reap what you sow. It's already been five years since you died. This town is completely different from when you were around."

'_What's the old hag talking about?' _Gintoki thought, very confused as he turned back around to face front, _'Kabuki is Kabuki, she's probably finally gone senile or some- th...ing?' _

The city, he could see it. The space terminal could be seen in the gaps of the forest surrounding the graveyard, and it was something he never imagined to see. The tall shiny building that had once stood so proud was now half-wrecked, and the skies were empty. Not a single roar of a spacecraft could be heard. The town... was in ruins. All the buildings were broken down. Everything was grey and brown, there were no more vibrant colors and no more rowdy loud cries of the citizens who lived there.

_'What... what in the world...' _Gintoki's dead-fish eyes widened in shock and his jaw went slack, as he wondered what had happened to the exuberant town that he called home had become. There was no sign of Amanto, and there was barely any signs of life.

"...If you saw it now, I wonder what you'd say?" Otose chuckled,

"Are you the one in hell? Or is the world we live in hell?

I bet it's hard to tell now.

But even so, we're all alive. We're still here, after accepting your death. Find our way...

So try and find some peace on the other side... _Gintoki_."


	4. The magic nipple

_...and this is where it goes it's own way, away from the movie... or not really... because I'm not creative..._

**Chapter 4: The magic nipple**

Gintoki took the chance to retreat into his own brain, to have a little monologue. He had seen enough futuristic movies to know where this was going. He'd seen the movies where a time paradox occurs and all goes to shit, and then the main character ends up giving birth to himself and dying, and giving birth to himself and dying, and... huh. Wait, he was a guy. He can't give birth. Gintoki decided to stop thinking about it before it got disturbing... gender equality after all.

Giving the gravestone a solid pat, Gintoki heaved himself to his feet. Granny had left a while ago, leaving three fresh manju piled neatly on the small offering plate. It sat in front of the nicely shaped rock that bore his name, gazing temptingly at Gintoki.

Needless to say, he grabbed them all, stuffing one in his mouth, and the two that rested in both his pockets. Who knew when he would get to eat free food again in this apocalyptic world, where there would probably be lots of dangers and... and... and who was he kidding, he just wanted the free food.

"Where do I start..." Gintoki huffed, looking around. This graveyard he was not familiar with, but it was very large, clearly having been expanded a few times judging by how an uneasy rift separated certain gravestones from others surrounding the area -a sign that the graveyard gate had been adjusted again and again. It must have been a very old place, because there were so many graves too; either that, or lot's of people died in a very short span of time.

The gravestones already bore signs of being worn down by the weather. Gintoki hoped it was just a very old graveyard.

Armed with nothing but two trusty manjus at his side, he started to descend the stairs that led down the hill, to the city. Old idols decorated the sides of the stairs, which made him reminiscent to the days when amanto activity was thought to be all kinds of different gods giving signs.

By the time he reached the bottom, he had realized a few things. The reason he didn't feel the casual bump of his bokuto against his knee was because he didn't have it with him anymore. It must have dropped somewhere along the way, and was now across the cosmos exploring the universe... but that was just a hypothesis. Gintoki hoped it was having a better time than he was. The absence of his trusty wooden curry stick made him uneasy... what else would he use as a napkin when he finished the manjus? Oh gods save him, he didn't deserve this dilemma.

Gintoki also realized he should probably hide his face. He didn't know what he was getting into, and if someone recognized him despite him being dead, he might run into more trouble than he wanted to even fathom. Maybe he'd find something on sale, now that so little people are around...

Looking from afar, the city was the almost the same. It was a like a spot-the-difference puzzle; though there were many differences, in the end the basic structure was unchanged. There were a few different signs he didn't recognize, and certain buildings were a little higher or lower than usual (or not there at all), which only made the experience both disorientating and familiar.

Gintoki was about to exit the small path he was following, which on both sides was a small forest that hid him from sight, and enter the main street, when he sensed someone nearby.

"Um..." Gintoki said hesitantly, turning around to their direction, "Hello?"

The person was standing in the forest, the many trees blocking a direct view of them. They moved a bit, and Gintoki heard the jingle of metal clinking with metal, as the soft leaves on the ground crunched under their weight.

"Good weather we're having isn't it?" Gintoki tried cheerfully, an exaggerated smile plastered on his face. He hoped to strike a conversation to get some information, "You see, I'm having a rather rough day and I was hoping if we could have a chat?"

There was no response for a while. The person shifted their weight, making the leaves crunch again. The wind swept through the forest, causing the leaves on the trees to brush against each other and fall to the ground. It cooled Gintoki's skin, and made a leaf slap against his cheek to which he hastily brushed off.

"you might want this", a deep gravely voice resonated from the person. It seemed to echo slightly, a sense of power coursing along with the fluent tenor notes of the person's voice. Something fell to the ground with a crunch, disturbing the leaves on the ground where the person stood. Gintoki couldn't see what it was from where he stood on the path, but he heard more jingles as the person turned to walk away.

"Oi! Wait a minute!" Gintoki called, "Where are you going?"

The sound of the leaves crunching stopped for a moment, as if the person was considering whether or not to tell him. Gintoki let the pause linger patiently, expecting an answer before he realized that the person was already gone; their presence was no longer there. Gintoki scratched his head. They didn't even make any sounds.

Curiously, Gintoki wandered over to where the person was standing, stepping over fallen branches and avoiding mushy areas where the mud was thick. He found a small blue box laying on the ground, just the size of a jewelry boxes that held a wedding ring. Gintoki wasn't much of a fan for mushy romance, but he picked up the box anyways and opened it.

Inside, was a small, white note that had been folded a couple times. Underneath that note, was the grossest growth that Gintoki had ever seen. Three perfect little hairs stuck out of the small black knub that almost looked akin to the ugliest nipple on Earth -wait... was it pulsating? Gintoki read the note.

**WANT TO CHANGE YOUR APPEARANCE BUT DON'T KNOW HOW?**

**WANT TO BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON FOR A CHEAPER ALTERNATIVE THAN PLASTIC SURGERY?**

**THEN USE THE CHANGE-YO-FACE MOLE!**

**The change-yo-face mole does not change your face in any way. It simply makes your face unrecognizable, despite being your face being the exact same as yesterday and the day you were born. Even your family won't recognize you! Even your friends won't recognize you! Oh wait, if you're purchasing this product, do you even have friends? HahahaHAHAHA *COUGH* AHA *CHOKE* HAHAPPYHA.**

**BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON!**

**LIVE A BETTER LIFE TODAY!**

Gintoki stopped reading the note. He neatly folded it and placed it back in the box. Questions ran through his head.

What had really happened with that old fart? Did he really get transported to the future, where he died? What the heck is this mole -no, this #!$? Who was that person who so generously gave him this #!$? Why did he deserve this #!$? Where did this #!$ even come from?

Ah, so many questions, not many answers.

Gintoki stuck it on his forehead.


End file.
